Recently I’ve been craving love, in any form I can get it. Whether it’s someone’s acceptance that makes me feel loved, attention from guys, doing whatever I can to please my mother…the list goes on and on. And I know, that as a Christian, we should know that we are always loved. I do know that, trust me. But there’s something about our little petty human nature that makes us crave more, we crave that human-to-human love. As humans we crave physical and emotional love along with our spiritual love from God.
If I am being honest, I’ve spent the last couple weeks being completely selfish and arrogant in my search for love. Why do I say that? Because I had no reason to be looking for love. And I want you to know that God is so good, no matter how dumb we act sometimes. You see, God has spent the last couple days showing me that I already have love, and when my eyes were opened, you don’t want to know how guilty I felt for having even “looked for love” in the first place.
So, what is love? Well, let me just say IT’S DIFFERENT FOR EVERYONE. Because we are all uniquely different, right? For instance, I have multiple friends, who find love in their relationships (not that that’s abnormal). Then I know people who find love in working, that’s just their personality. There are many things that can bring love to different types of people. In my case, God has opened my eyes to view love as follows:
- Love is having people who are willing to go over and beyond to help you out, and who do it with so much tenderness and joy.
- Love is having your 18 month old run towards you with arms outstretched and a smile so bright it looks like she swallowed the sun each day when you get to Daycare to pick her up.
- Love is waking up at 4 A.M. every single day to do your homework before work, so that you can spend the few hours you get with your little girl each night just having tickle fights until bedtime.
- Love is having someone, even someone small, to hold you when you’re feeling sad. Someone who will rub your head (even if she messes your hair completely up) and kiss you with her mouth wide open, then look at you and say “Mommy es okay.”
- Love is having people push you to be better, even if it makes you want to scream sometimes.
- Love is having friends. Friends who hold you accountable, even when you don’t know that you need it. Friends who stand firm in their faith, and don’t back down from it no matter the circumstances. Friends you can fight with, and miss immediately after the texting has stopped. Friends who are there for you, no matter what. Friends that push you to be the best version of yourself for God’s glory and not your own.
The list could go on and on. But the point is that love surrounds us each and every day and if you’re feeling like you’re at a point where you don’t feel loved, just ask God to open your eyes. I sure needed Him to help me see the love that I have. And I’m honestly left feeling awful for not having realized and appreciated how much love I already had in my life weeks ago. We all have different definitions of love, and whatever love is for you. I hope that it at least involves some of the things that I listed above. Because those things are so hard to come by in life, especially friends who love you the way mine do.
I just want to take a moment before finishing this post and thank my friend, Ashton. You are such an amazing, Jesus-loving, honest, and true friend. I can’t thank God enough for blessing me with your friendship. Thank you for being the first of many things to open my eyes this past week, and help me realize all that I had in life. Thank you for always being there when I need you, and for being the only one who ever holds me accountable. I love you so much it hurts sometimes. And I can’t wait until we don’t live 2 hours apart anymore, so I can run and hug you instead of typing you corny apologies. Thank you, again. You’re my forever friend.