“No, I wanna watch Barney!!!”
“No, No, No!” *Insert pointing finger motion*
This is just a small series of sassy two-year old comebacks that I get told on a daily basis.
One day, I was sitting at home with Everleigh, (I had been through a lot that week) and I was just pretty much fed up; I had hit my mommy-limit (fellow parents will know what I mean). As I sat on the couch, beyond exhausted, tired of correcting my daughter and repeating myself for the day, I thought to myself….how does God do it?
How does he love us unconditionally when we are CONSTANTLY telling Him “no?”
I remember all the times that I’ve said no to God, and every time it usually revolves around the same topic: men. There have been other times, but mostly I tend to try choosing my own path when it comes to men. SURPRISE: IT NEVER WORKS OUT.
God tells us in the Bible that His plans will always prevail against our own. Isaiah 14:24 says this, “God’s plans and purposes will always prevail and never fail…” So, why do we go against Him knowing this? Because we are human. And more often than not, our stupid human nature and sinful desires get the best of us. Maybe that’s just me.
I recently had yet another relationship that I knew probably wasn’t what God wanted for me. Yet, I got involved anyway. Needless to say, I wound up with my heart broken again. And I guess I can’t blame anyone but myself, right? But I have learned something so valuable this time around.
I have learned to value myself and I have began a new relationship, one that I know will last. I have chosen to fall madly in love with Jesus again.
I lost that somewhere along the way. I lost my love for the One who created love in its entirety. I let my one true love fade away, all over a guy. I vow to never do this again, because in doing so, I lost myself completely.
So I am finding myself, re-defining myself in Christ. I am vowing to believe that I am fearfully and wonderfully made. I am choosing to understand what exactly God’s plan is for me (although I know I’ll never understand it completely). I am choosing to love Jesus in the process of waiting for a man who will love my daughter and I. I am spending time in prayer. I am taking care of the body that God gave me. I am loving God and loving myself.
I never thought anything good would come out of saying no to God (and I’m not encouraging that you do this) but I don’t think I would have gotten to this place I’m in, if i hadn’t. If I hadn’t been broken on the floor, spent a week and a half in my bed crying tears I didn’t even know I still had in my body…if this wouldn’t have happened to me, I would still be lost.
I am so thankful for God’s unconditional love and grace. I am thankful that things that aren’t meant to work out – don’t. I am thankful for men who don’t appreciate good women, because they teach such amazing lessons. I am so thankful for broken hearts and the fact that we have an amazing creator who is a perfector in fixing them.
I am thankful for the “No” moments in life, because like all parents, God uses those moments to teach us.